It takes a wedding

Last weekend we went to my friend Erica's wedding, which was as elegant, glamorous, and beautiful as she is. It was held in her house with the orange tree in the front yard, and when we walked in the joy in the room was palpable. Everyone was so happy. No one seemed to be having a boring conversation. The music was excellent. There wasn't a whiff of insecurity or fear that you sometimes get at weddings where the couple isn't quite right for each other. (Or when one of them is just an ass. I'm not naming names.) Tommy and I danced a lot and at the end of it as we drove back, I kept thinking about how important it is for married people to go to other people's weddings.
"You know what I mean?" I said to my husband.
"I do," he said. "It's all that faith. "
It reminds you why you did what you did.
All night I'd been remembering why I'd married Tommy. I kept hearing myself say, "That is why I married my husband."
"That is why I married my husband," I said. "He always says yes when I ask him to dance." It's true. He'll do the hokey pokey, he can swing dance, he'll dance to the Mexican happy birthday song I so dearly love...
"Is that your husband in there dancing with five women?" someone said to me at one point.
"Yes!" I said. "That's why I married him. He's the man who will dance when no other men are dancing."
Also, he's just so handsome. And kind.

It reminded me of something Erica said to me once, right after Liam was born. We were at a restaurant in New York and Liam was about three months old. Liam was going through a very engaging stage where he smiled and cooed at everyone and Erica said, "He's one of those babies that makes people want to have babies." She paused and then said, "Actually, he's one of those kids couples see and then get in a fight because one person wants to have a baby and the other person doesn't."
"Ha ha," I said, and then, and I am not making this up, as we left the restaurant, we passed a couple who had been watching Liam and the woman said, "That's very cute baby." "Thank you," I said. And right as we walked out the door I heard her say to the man she was with, "I'm just not ready yet. I've told you ten thousand times."

And Erica's wedding was one of those weddings that makes people want to get married. It was just in the air and it was as if it cast a spell on everyone. Single people fell in love with other single people. Almost married people considered getting married. Married people remembered why they married each other. (Except for one married woman, who said quite clearly she wasn't sure about marriage at that moment, but I think that was circumstantial.) That's how I felt anyway, and I'm pretty sure other people felt it too, because I heard the next morning that her sister had to break up a few people who were making out on Erica's couch.

So the moral of the story is, when you're fighting with your husband try counseling. And if that doesn't work, go to a good wedding. Twenty-five cents please.

And many, many congrats to Erica and Rupert!