Yesterday my friend Cara came over and we were sitting in the kitchen talking about the revisions she's making on her novel when Liam and Dawson came in and said, "When is Eli coming over to show us how to make spaceships?"
Cara's son Eli had given them an old Lego set of his about six weeks ago. I think the set has something to do with Star Wars, but it's very complicated, with lots of small pieces and things that look like they could be parts of spaceships or monsters but no pictures.
"I'm calling him right now," Cara said.
So she called Eli, who is seventeen and in a punk rock band and was hanging out at the pizza shop with his friends.
"Hi," she said. "it's me. Listen, you need to come to Rebecca's house right now to show these boys how to put together the Legos...You promised them a month ago...I don't care...You need to, you made a promise...Then bring Jason if you want to...No, now. Now...Because you promised" Long pause.
"One....Two.."
She hung up the phone. "He's on his way," she said.
"I can't believe counting still works at 17," I said.
"That sh*t works forever," she said.
Two minutes later Eli walked into the door all long legs and hipster belt and and Doc Martens and put his knapsack heavily on the table. "All right," he said. "I'm here."
"YAY!" said Liam and Dawson. "HOORAY! Eli's here! Eli's here!"
Then they ran upstairs and started to get out all of their toys to they could show him everything.
"I'm only here to show you the Legos," Eli said.
"You're mad," said Cara.
"I'm irate," said Eli.
"Do you know what vampires eat?" said Dawson.
"Okay little boys," said Eli. "Pay attention. The thing about Legos is that the fun is figuring them out on your own. So really, having someone come over and tell you how to do it kind of defeats the purpose." Then he gave his mother a withering look that said "Especially if that someone was down at the pizza shop with his friends before his mother called and made him come talk to some toddlers.
" Eli," said Cara."These are pretty complicated Legos."
"I was only three or four when I got these and I figured them out myself," Eli said. "And I had a LEARNING DISABILITY."
"So you're saying my children are morons," I said happily.
Eli gave me the same scathing look he had just given his mother.
("That means he likes you," Cara said later."He considers you family.")
For some reason the whole scene reminded me of an interview I recently listened to on NPR with Terri Gross and Iggy Pop, which was hilarious, especially when he's talking about how he hates wearing clothes and taking showers and then discusses the fearlessness of his 12 pound Maltese dog. There's one point where Terri and Mr. Pop are talking about near death experiences and Iggy says that once when he O.D.'d he was so close to death that he heard celestial music (which he describes as insipid) and then he heard his mother calling to him and he came back to the living. "That's interesting that it was her voice that brought you back," says Terri. "Not your friends' or bandmates'." At which point Iggy Pop seems about to fall off his chair. "Band mates??!!" he sputters. "Listen, rock bands are pretty vicious aggregates of associates. There a certain amount of friendships, but..don't try this at home kids. It's not as good as it looks." Then he collects himself a little. "No," he adds. "(My mother) was who cared for me. In this world."
You can tell by the tenderness in his voice (and by the fact that earlier in the interview he'd referred to his mother as a beautiful person) how much his mother matters to him. It's a really good moment.
So even punk rockers love their mothers and here is the result of Cara, caring for hers (punk rocker, that is, not her mother.) And I'm keeping this picture so that when Eli is a world famous rock star who won't wear a shirt, I can say, "Hey! See this? That guy came over and insulted your intelligence when you were three and five."
Honestly. My children don't know how lucky they are.
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