A new old post

I'm a little low on material this week, so I'm reposting a post I wrote a few years ago when my husband was out of town. It was called, "Sometimes you just have to swing.." (It's slightly edited from the original version.)

Tommy is gone for the week in Ohio helping his parents move. This is one of the reasons I married him--because he is a nice person who does nice things for other people, and I still love this about him. But the children and I have been alone now for three days, and I'm remembering what it was like when I was left to my own devices in graduate school. The house is a wreck, we're running low on food, and I suppose the lawn needs attention. Yesterday at the coffee shop, Barry, one of the men I have coffee with in the morning said, "I think I saw a lion lurking in the Savannah behind your house."


Then tonight the boys were in the tub and this is what I heard myself say:

"Liam! For God's sake, do NOT lick the scrub brush! That brush is disgusting!!!"

I couldn't say exactly why it was disgusting, but I had a vague memory of saying recently to myself, "I should throw this out," and then thinking, "Oh I might as well keep it. It's not like anyone is going to put it in their mouth."

"Am I being naughty?" Liam asked.
"No," I sighed. "I guess not. I never told you not to lick the scrub brush. But if you do it again you'll be naughty."
"MY PENIS!" Dawson shrieked as if he'd just discovered electricity.
I took a diaper into the other room to throw it out, and when I came back Liam was swinging on the shower curtain.
"LIAM!" I said, as the curtain rod on slowly gave way. "For heaven's sake! Oh, honey, you broke the shower rod. Daddy is going to be really, really mad."
"MY FEET!!" shouted Dawson happily.
"I guess THAT was naughty," Liam sighed. "Sorry. I really just felt like swinging."

I used to think bath time would be such a blissful experience. How much trouble can they get into in the tub? I thought. Now I know. FYI: A) They can drown. B) They can lick scrub brushes you should have thrown out. C) They can swing on the shower curtain and tear it down when all you did was turn your back for one second to throw a diaper in the garbage.

But what are you going to do? If you have to swing, you have to swing.
You deal with the wreckage later.