Good Vibes

Today in the parking lot of the food co-op, I heard myself say to my children,
"If you two don't stop fighting over the Luna bars, I am going to murder you. I am not kidding."

Then I put my organic, pleasantly raised sausage, and all natural mood lifters into the trunk and got into the car.
"You are kidding," Liam said. "You would never do that."
"Do what?" I said.
"Let us die," said Liam.
Oh, I thought. Dammit.
"You're right," I said. "I would never, ever, ever murder you. That's a terrible thing to say. I'm sorry."
"Or put us on the curb," said Dawson.
They both started giggling.
"I might put you on the curb," I said, instantly forgetting what I'd just learned.
Liam and Dawson started gigggling harder.
"We would have to be sooo naughty," Liam said.
"We'd have to say the f-word, and the h-word, and shut up," said Dawson. (The h-word is hate.)
"And play with matches," said Liam, happily munching on a Luna bar.
"I think it would probably take a little more than that," I said.


Like sitting in your room at 9:00 at night yelling, "CHOOKABAKA LA LA! CHOOKA BAKA LA! IT IS NOT NIGHT NOW! IT IS NOT NIGHT!" at the top of your lungs, after you've already been fed, bathed, and read to, which is what Dawson is doing now. (Daylight savings time kills me in the summer.)"MAMA I NEED YOU! DOO DOO DOO! Ma ma ma ma mam am. Mommy, mommy, I love you. I love you. MOM! Is it a week night? Remember a long time ago, you said if it's a week night, we can make Liam and my lunches. So let's go do that now."

But I'm going to forgive him because he called me a few days ago from his grandmother's house where he'd spent the night to tell me that he was a pretty good guitar player. "Do you want to hear me?" he said? Then he got the guitar and sang a song that went like this, "Rock out, come on let's rock out. Rock out. I love you, you are so good at what you're doing, come on let's rock out. Yeah, yeah, let's rock out, I love you so much."

Which is exactly the what you should sing to your mother to insure that you don't get put on the curb. I love you so much, you are good at what you're doing. Come on, Mama, let's rock out.

It's also, by the way, very good advice. I haven't rocked out in a very long time.